This birth story begins a while before the day that labor started. During this pregnancy my biggest fears were: Not going into my own labor by 42 weeks (thus needing a hospital transfer and pitocin), having my water break early and risking infection and/or not going into labor (again, with the pitocin!), and not being able to relax and vocalize/move in labor the way that I would need to. These fears were all based on repeating the experience I had with Abe which, although it resulted in a healthy baby, was disappointing as I felt a pressure to perform and had set so many expectations for what my labor would be like. The pressure, build-up, and subsequent let down led to a lot of postpartum mood issues.
